There are many lights that can illuminate my face
when they fall on it
but there are only two lights in the world
that illuminate my insides
when they fall on my face :
and the light that comes from my laptop screen
in the midst of the utter darkness
of a room that has given up.



When I’m trying to count
the people that love me
and not being able to find even one
makes me sad,
I try counting the people that I love,
and knowing
that all of them are loved
by at least one person
makes me happy again.

borrowed things.

I borrow happiness from lights
I borrow happiness from looking at trees
I borrow happiness from the breeze
I borrow happiness from that white dove
that white dove
that somehow found its way into the hallways of my school
that white dove
is a living, breathing, flying proof
that magic finds its way
into the darkest of hallways
I borrow happiness
from the dha ghe dha dhin na ka dhin na
dha ghe dha dhin na ka dhin na
from the tippy-toes of a balleri-na
that dog
in the slum
right beside the petrol pump
they borrow happiness from it too :
the bare-backed dust-faced children

If only someone had told me
borrowed happiness
does not last very long.


The feeling I’m feeling right now
is equivalent
to that of having my mouth unbearably full
with too many bites
of something I dislike the taste of
and not having the motivation
to chew through it
and not having the strength
to spit it out.